Things I've Lost or Another Trip Down Melancholy Lane

Popular thought states that if you've done alright without something for 18 months, you probably don't need it. usually this pertains to clothing... Yet, I'm placing my own unique spin on it and not apply this theory to clothing. I've recently "lost" my storage locker and all my belongings therein. I kept a storage locker for nearly 2 years. The storage locker had a rental fee of $100.00 per month, which I just couldn't afford any longer. Among those lost items were nothing that had any real monetary value. The only value was emotional. It was my stuff. It was hand-me-downs, basically, nothing more...

Very masculine. Very butch. Very me.

My leather motorcycle jacket made in Pakistan. It was made of 25 point leather and it felt as though it weighed 25 pounds. It was given to me by a friend almost 20 years ago. The jacket was apparently abandoned by a former co-worker of this friend and she had the foresight to save it from a trip into the dumpster. I enjoyed wearing that jacket. It looked great. I cleaned it once a year and kept it looking good. And I looked good wearing it, too. Very masculine. Very butch. Very me. I wore the jacket all the time from late summer through mid-winter. Unlike many of the other leather folk whose leathers only came out of their respective closets for various leather events in SF, like Folsom Street Fair or Dore Alley or the Leather Nights at the old Renegades on Stockton. But over the years that it was in my daily care, it was beginning to show it's age. The pockets had deteriorated and could no longer function as pockets. Then the lining deteriorated and the insulation fell out of it. Perhaps it's best that it's gone because I'll be able to get a new jacket for less than it would to refurbish my Pakistan jacket.

There was a matching credenza and night stand that I got from my friend Ottah, just before he moved to the District of Columbia. The credenza, made of pressed wood with a plastic like wood veneer, it was about six feet long with a cabinet at each end with three drawers in the center. The matching night stand was chocked full of black octagon dishes a service for four with coffee mugs.

Years ago I bought a remnant from a closing JC Penney store. In it's previous life this item was a glass display case for picture frames. When I acquired it, it continued being used as a functional display case. Standing 5 and a half feet tall, save the plastic connector clips that supported the shelves and back, the remaining components- bottom, top, sides, rear and three shelves of the case was made entirely of 3/4" tempered plate glass. My audio equipment and sound mixer as well as my library and other glass objects d'art were all housed in my glass case.

With the advent of home CD burning, my black Pioneer double tape deck saw little use, perhaps someone can find enjoyment with it now. Another JC Penney's piece was a display three panel screen and wicker basket filled with clean T-shirts and old pairs of shorts. A ginger jar like lamp was given to me years ago when buying storage locker contents was better than going to a yard sale.

I don't regret many things. but I do regret losing my hand-knitted Granny Square styled crocheted afghan that my Mom made for me, a good 30 years ago. I also had in my possession my brothers' afghan- it was my intention to send it to his wife as a gift- a sort of peace offering. Well so much for regret.

Material things are temporary. I just hope that someone or many someone's may get some use out of my belongings... And maybe pass them along too.

So Sayeth Das Behr

Things I Have Done

Recently, I began to think back on all the things I've done over the years. Some may be considered unremarkable and others- once in a lifetime events...

I had once worked in a darkroom where I duplicated and processed 35mm microfilm. I had taught myself defensive driving skills by doing donuts on an ice covered parking lot. I had once bought $200 worth of Chicago albums in one shot. I had bought my first compact disc- Mike Oldfield's TUBULAR BELLS before I owned a CD player. I had my Massachusetts drivers license seized by CHP after I got pulled over for doing 80 in a 55 MPH zone near SFO. I had committed an act of vandalism at a school in Massachusetts- I threw multiple rocks through many panes of glass. The first girl I had kissed was Mary Priolli when I was eight years old. The last girl I had kissed was Ruth McDonnell, just before I came out to her. The first man I had kissed was also my first boyfriend- TJ Lewis. My first car was a Chevy Vega, that I had once drove recklessly through a snow covered cemetery, hit a snow bank and busted my timing belt. After the thaw I noticed I had sheared off a headstone that was hidden in the snow bank. I had totalled my dad's car when I was 19. The aftermath of that accident had put 35 stitches to close the inside of my mouth. I had been struck in the mouth with the blade of a shovel, which chipped all of my lower teeth. Growing up, I hated my brother Doug so much, that I stood by and did nothing as some neighborhood kids beat the crap out of him. I had been gay bashed twice, with skateboards, within a four week period. I had bought an old true quadraphonic sound system from a friend, just to listen to the first three Chicago albums. I had thrown a knife at my sister after she called me a faggot. I had never cheated on any of my boyfriends. I got pulled over on the freeway for driving too slow- I had witnessed a motorcyclist getting decapitated in a horrific accident 10 miles back.

I had driven my VW Beetle 18 months without a proper registration nor insurance. I drove round trip to San Diego for Pride. I had missed my brother's [Adam] wedding, which in turn spurned a 15 year estrangement. I have two nieces and two nephews that don't know me nor I them. I had gone to college for architectural design, but dropped out just as AutoCAD was being introduced at the college level. I had been a member of Queer Nation/San Jose. I've had sex with 528 different guys over a 20 year period.

I had once fallen asleep behind the wheel and woke up after I had changed lanes. I once slept under the Park Avenue Bridge. I had "survival camped" along the Guadalupe River for three months. I had slept in a sitting position in my VW and I had developed Deep Vein Thrombosis. My appendix had burst while at work and I waited a week before seeking medical attention because I thought the pain would go away. I subsequently lost three feet of bowel due to peritonitis. I lived through two pulmonary embolisms. I have an In-Chest Defibrillator [ICD] with a dead battery. I've awaken in a panic after discovering that I was no longer breathing. I've been clocked at 3 minutes between breaths during an apneac event. I have a high degree AV block.

I walked from Daly City to Palo Alto in five hours one night. I walked from SoHo to Kensington and through Piccadilly Circus at 4 in the morning. I cruised for guys on the London Underground. I walked through the National Mall, in the District of Columbia at 5 in the morning. I traded my microwave oven for a car ride to the bus station to get out of Fort Myers Florida. I had done "mil-spec" soldering of SMT printed circuit cards. I had quit smoking cigarettes for 3 months in the late 90s.

I have always "been there" for my friends, sometimes without regard for my personal well-being. I have performed emergency road repair on my VW with a butter knife. I had replaced the gas tank on another VW and used medical grade flex tubing for a fuel line. I lived in my Subaru for five months while I worked at SFO. I have been to fourteen consecutive SF Pride events. I had post-9/11, 24/7 access to the AOA [Airport Operations Area] aka- the Ramp and sometimes had the opportunity to watch the 747-400's achieve lift. I had nearly become a "speed bump" to an inbound United 747 on her way into a "G" Side gate. I had been on "Death's Doorstep" on three separate occasions. I had busted my ass for my customer- Virgin Atlantic Airways. I have met Steve Ridgeway [CEO, Virgin Atlantic Airways]. I have met Sir Richard Branson [Chairman, Virgin Group].

So Sayeth Das Behr

A-Ha! So, There!

My car payment is due every month about this time. Up until the current month, the buyer, would internally route the remit slip from his office to me. Each month and I'm talking, like, five. But not for June. Strange, I don't think he would've forgotten the procedure. he's good like that. The buyer would always open the envelope with a slicing tool and I'd find it atop my table...

Hmm, wonders Das Behr's inner thoughts...

I suppose, it's possible, that perhaps, the buyer is setting me up for failure !?!

Damn, no remit slip. How the hell was I going to send in the payment without a remit slip? I don't want to just enclose my check in an envelope and send it off. Yeah, same risk as mailing it with a remit slip... but still.

I tried creating an online account to do an "e-pay". But I need an authorization code and stuff. but then I read further on the financially sticky website, that I can make a phone payment! Jotting down the number directly into DasBehr Nokia, I made a phone call. entered some routing numbers and checking account numbers and voile!

Payment made and will post for today 12 June 2k7. it was due on the 14th. that in itself is also strange because my payments were due on the fifteenth of each month...

JUNE 2007 MONTHLY INSTALLMENT PAID.

A-Ha!

So, There!

... don't fuck with me fellas...

So Sayeth Das Behr

I'd Rather Fight Than Switch

There's nothing like borrowing a tag-line from an old cigarette brand, like Tarrington's. I vaguely remember the TV commercials that depicted this good looking guy with a black eye. Apparently this good looking guy chose to fight rather than switch to another cigarette brand.

Well... As it turns out, there seems to be some legal matters to be worked out. My research shows that since I'm the co-buyer on my car- that I would need to be bought out of the contract before my car can be taken from me. These are some of the points that I am considering:

1> The DMV registration has my name on it, too.
2> As co-buyer, it is my OBLIGATION to pay the monthly installments on my car.
3> I have POSSESSION of my car.
4> I have not DEFAULTED on any of my payments.

as far as DMV is concerned, I'm the registered co-owner. As co-buyer, I signed the auto loan contract and are legally binding to pay it off either through 60 monthly installments or all at one time. My records show 5 consecutive on-time payments thus far. Therefore no defaults- no one can take my car if I'm maintaining the payments. The Cobalt is in my possession, which is like "squatters rights" with a twist. As well as documented proof, as in copies of my cancelled checks that my payments were made on-time each month since this past February.

Now if the buyer wants me off of that contract- he'll have to buy-me-out on all monies that I've put into that car. Or relinquish himself from the contract. Either way that loan doc is going to be re-written. If he decides to buy me out then hell, I also want the $500 that my Subaru earned in the trade. I'd like to work this out- but, if it comes to it I'm prepared to go to small claims court as a last resort. I'm a mellow guy, but when I get T-boned by someone who thinks he knows it all. Hell, the whole point of a co-signer on a loan is to "lend" the help of a more superior credit rating. It does not give carte Blanche rights to take something away and give it to another. As Faye Dunaway portrayed Joan Crawford so eloquently in the movie Mommy Dearest- I'm reminded of the line stated during the Pepsico Board meeting...

DON'T FUCK WITH ME FELLAS!

The gauntlet has been thrown and will most likely trash an 18 year friendship.

You've Been Screwed, But Here's A Nice Parting Gift

I got T-boned this morning.

I didn't even see this one coming. Oh sure I saw the CAUTION BRIDGE OUT sign but I was assured that I would have plenty of time to stop and take another path. Well apparently not the path that I would've chosen for myself. I had to follow THEIR path. The optional paths I was considering had been blocked off by invisible force fields. I HAD to stay in the uber expensive Bay Area.

DasBehr was unceremoniously advised that a new roommate was obtained and that said new roommie will be moving in later this month. In addition, unless DasBehr can cough up an auto insurance policy to cover a 15,000 car to the tune of $800,000.

-OR-

Buy out the co-signer on the $15,000 car loan, then DasBehr can keep the Cobalt.

Uh, yeah, sure, like THAT is going to happen... It's already been decided much to my dismay. The previously agreement of "get-a-new-job-by-the-end-of-June-or-get-out" has expired. My Cobalt will be given to the new incoming roommate and I will assume the new roommates current car- a circa 1988 Cadillac with a leaky oil pan.

I'll be deploying my safety net later today. I filled-up the Cobalt and want to take it to the coast at least one more time before I "surrender" it.

Oh, and as for the notebook computer, I get to keep that as a "consolation gift".

Now where did I put those Portland Oregon brochures?

Dropping Off The Grid

Okay, the inevitable happened. As previously mentioned- the ol' drink in one hand and smoke in the other- hit me full force this past weekend. DAMN!

I bought my first pack of smokes in more than a week. And I've made the decision that I'll be doing the quit thing with more vigilance and vigor starting tomorrow 5 June.
I need to drop off the grid for awhile. No more hanging out with my smoker friends. I can't remain steadfast in my quest for a more healthy lifestyle if I continue to hang out amidst all the temptations presented within a bar atmosphere.

During the week of no tobacco, my sense of smell returned, I could taste things again, my breathing wasn't obstructed, I had more energy due to an increase in oxygen, and my sinuses weren't clogged up.

Gee, even I can see the benefits of not smoking and I need to succeed in this.

And of course, I will...