The Cell (T Minus 17 Days and Counting...)

Ok, So I'm gushing. Think what you will about the PlayStations, but one thing is for certain... The PS3 will Blow The Doors Off The Competition!

Holy E-jack!, Batman...

Eek! I've been e-jacked!

Yahoo abuse failed me for the LAST TIME.

hasta la vista Yahoo!

I've decided to close ALL of my Yahoo accounts and go with the number 2 most popular email service. It's a real shame because I've had an email account with Yahoo ever since their Day One. Anyone remember back that far? You know the Pre-Portal days?

What pushed me over the edge? Some Dweeb e-jacked one of MY Yahoo accounts and I didn't know about it until I began receiving mail daemon bounce backs from mail servers that I never had sent emails to. And apparently those emails that were being "sent" from my email account had viral attachments!

Uh, no, Das Behr don't play like that. The folks over at Yahoo in Sunnyvale, apparently are so overwhelmed with other chores that my emailed pleas for help have gone un-answered- yes I did get three auto-bot messages, but I don't consider that as "help". C'mon, Yahoo Abuse received three forwarded daemon bounceback emails from moi. Each email included the headers- the email travel path and all I got from them was a canned auto-response. Naw, sorry, not good enough, anymore.

Everyone I know will get updated accordingly...

But for now, I've got some emails to send...

Oh and a Last Word regarding this e-jack thing--

FUCK YAHOO

So Sayeth Das Behr

Absentee

Das Behr has cast his secret ballot absentee vote. In the true spirit of a secret ballot, Das Behr has the right not to reveal whom or what he has voted for...


However, at this time Das Behr has decided to waive some of that right. Pretty much like a line item veto, Das Behr shall reveal his voting preferences... First of all he'll start with the propositions- (Reader please note: items for 'yea' are listed, items for 'no' are not.)

Transportation: Props: 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1E

Why: If you have ever driven on the streets, roads, and freeways of this, the great State of California, you already know that the system of asphalt and concrete thorough fares are in great disrepair. It wasn't always like this. Back nearly twenty years when Das Behr first travelled in the Bay Area, the freeways were as smooth as glass. Potholes and cracks and other suspension-racking pratfalls belonged (and were found) in the snow country a.k.a. Boston. A return to the good ol' days when Californians actually cared about California. These props also address Mass Transit- Yeah, given the "car culture" of California, for every cell-yacking driver on the freeway, there are nearly five Californians that rely on Mass Transit to get them from point 'A' to point 'B'. Where is that money going to come from? From the gasoline tax? PULEEEZE! The gasoline tax is supposed to help fix the roadways. Naw, Mass Transit needs public funding through Bond Measures. And we need these monies right now.

Prop 87: Clean Energy.
Why: To Das Behr, this was a no-brainer. Consider the fact that the country of Brasil spent the last twenty years creating and implementing their ethanol fuel program- to become self-efficient and completely off the Arab oil teat. California must lead the way for the rest of the country. Besides, Chevron Corporation is the major push behind the No on 87 camp. Gee, why would that be? Oh, maybe because alternative fuels just may cut into their RECORD PROFITS. Yeah, it's a no-brainer.

Prop 88: Clean Money.
Why: How can a land that has a constitution which defines the government as a body by the people, for the people when most of the people can not afford to run for office? Public money, that's how- public money.

Incumbents be gone! Nearly a complete shake-up in that regard. Time for a change! One write-in candidate, though- for the office of State Senator.
Das Behr has noticed that Diane Feinstein only pops up in the news when her re-election comes near. G'bye DiFi, you did NOTHING to stop the MADMAN in OUR white house. 'Nuf said. DiFi your term is up! Time for some fresh air. DasBehr wrote in the name of Christopher Dahl for U.S. Senate.

Voting along party lines.

For all other offices, Das Behr voted his conscience and went by his party's line:
Libertarian. All except for one office though...

Governor:

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Why? Why not. No, seriously. I think Ah-nold is doing the best job for the benefit of ALL Californians. Das Behr refuses to simply vote for the "lesser of two evils". Despite the fact that Ah-nold is the lesser of two evils to begin with. Phil Angelides just didn't sit well with Das Behr. Therefore he didn't get the vote.

So Sayeth Das Behr

Righting the Wrongs

It's Sunday morning and Turner Network Television (TNT) is replaying one of
Das Behr's all time favorite movies- "The American President". A relatively accurate fictionalised account of an American president during a re-election campaign. Said single president is also courting a beautiful lobbyist. It's funny, touching, note-worthy- it's about as american as we ONCE were. Annette Benning,
Michael Douglas, Michael J. Fox and Martin Sheen head up a fantastic cast.

Personal factor: Das Behr had been to The District of Columbia. On a planned one week visit to see and hang-out with The Ottah. Some of Das Behr's best vacations were the ones where he could trip around the visited city and just see things from a perspective pretty unique to Das Behr. For example, after spending a good portion of his first night in "the District" at a bath-house, he walked out into the pre-dawn city and not having a clue as to where he was at in relation to where he needed to get to. I knew the destination was Georgetown- getting there via The Metro and using Metro maps was dicey at best.

The adventure was afoot! Capitol Mall was a different sight to see when Das Behr viewed it at oh-five-hundred in the morning, where the sun was nothing but a spit dot on the eastern horizon. It was distressing to Das Behr to see trash strewn across America's Back Yard. Perhaps a poignant reflection on the current administration...

Even Washington City is pretty decrepit. Washington City doesn't receive federal funding. Washington City is the place in which The District of Columbia is located."D.C." is not a state, nor a commonwealth. The District has no voting power at the federal level. It has the ability to observe and advise but no binding voting status. Very much like the U.S. territory known as Puerto Rico.
However, unlike the pleasant Caribbean island, D.C. is taxed heavily. Das Behr regarded the tax rate in his own Northern California as a bit extreme at 8.5%. That is cheap by District standards. Where Washington City's tax rate is a whopping 10 percent! It's a crime. What's been happening within the District of Colombia is basically-

Taxation Without Representation.

Gee, doesn't that ring familiar? Wasn't that the same cry that ultimately lead to the American Revolution against Mother England a scant two-hundred-thirty odd years ago? Thought so. Washington City is seeking via internal vote to change the law and provide "statehood like" rights to the District. Should D.C. win, then they'll be eligible for badly needed federal funding for everything from highways to housing and everything in between.

So Sayeth Das Behr

Prince Charming arrival scheduled for 2k7

At times I wonder just WHEN my prince charming will arrive. I've got friends whom can't bear (no pun intended) to be alone and therefore they're always in a relationship. Then there are the group of friends that IF they wanted a relationship they'd be in one.

Then there's Das Behr.

Emotionally stable (well there WAS a bout with some instability recorded within these blogs, but I'm over that now). So yeah, I'll stick with the emotionally stable trait. I guess what sets me apart from the other guys I've encountered is my intensity. When I fall in love with a man it's a s-l-o-w p-r-o-c-e-s-s.

And once I'm there, I'm in like glue, white on rice, you get the idea.
To pry myself out of a romantic relationship is even slower than entering into one. Falling out of love for Das Behr is akin to packing up all of the emotions that I felt for the guy and doing a sort of mental deframentation and a re-boot. I once knew a lesbian (a distant relative of baseball star Nick Ruzzo) whom had followed her italian traditions and would send a black rose to a former wife. The intended recipient of the black rose is now regarded as being "dead". Which I think is a real classy way of saying "fuck-off and die".

The most recent California governor (before Ah-nold) was Gray Davis. During the great recall campaign, Davis was being touted as the "best governor-in-waiting California has ever had". I mention this because there are at times when I feel like I am the best husband-in-waiting in the great place of California.

According to numerology, 2k7 will finally be my year for romance. That's when I will be in the right place at the right time emotionally, financially and mentally. Whoo- Hoo!

It's about fucking time!

So Sayeth Das Behr

Good-Bye WFB!

The finanacial crises that Das Behr has struggled through is now fini. Part of that struggle was squarely tied to my former financial institution. Through an unfortunate series of events, Das Behr's financial status had collapsed in late August of 2k6. By the time the dust had settled Das Behr was saddled with a negative checking account balance of $942.40. Das Behr worked feverishly with the aforementioned former banking institution, to prevent an eventual charge-off of the delinquent account. The charge-off would've affected Das Behr's ability to open any checking account anywhere at any bank within the USA. The banking institution made famous by their stage coach image of yesteryear, had assured me that once my account was brought back to a balance of zero-point-zero, then it would be re-opened with certain restrictions to designed to prevent the liklihood of another financial collapse.

When Das Behr was able to make a sizeable deposit of $500 one week and then another deposit of the remaining balance the next week, I asked the local bank official in FC (Foster City), as to when my account will re-open. The official looked at me and said "Oh, you'd need to open another [read:different] checking account. Das Behr was miffed- I wasn't advised by the stage-coach banking institution that I'd need to re-apply for another account. "Well, yeah." Began the cute asian man in formal business attire. "Because the other account was closed by the bank for severe insufficient funding issues. Now you need to open another account."
"I'm able to open a new account or have I been reported to Chex-Ex?" Das Behr asked still slightly confused.
"If you had been reported on, then you wouldn't have been told that you are welcome to open another account." Stated mister cute asian guy, with a white toothy grin. A grin that Das Behr would've enjoyed stuffing my randy rod into.
"Oh, thank-you, for the information. And have a pleasant afternoon." said Das Behr as he turned away from the teller window.
"But, wait, aren't you going to open an account?" The cute asian implored.
"Yes, I am. But not here. I'm going to WaMu, have a nice day!"


Good-Bye Wells Fargo Bank!

You safe-guarded my monies, but you didn't help me when I really needed your help.

Do you WaMu? I do NOW

So Sayeth Das Behr

The Little Words

Little words. Little words make all the difference. Especially when trying to clarify a statement. Recently at a bar across the Bay from the Foster City tower, Das Behr was asked this series of questions:

"... Where do you work?"
Innocently and quite deliberately Das Behr stated "I work at SCEA".
"Huh?" Came the clueless reply.
"I say again, I work at SCEA, you know- as in Sony Computer Entertainment America."
"What do they do?" The gorgeous yet dweebish guy asked.

Although, I really don't what to insult the man for what I believe is either a severe case of stupidity or CRS (can't recall sh!t). I can't help but blurt out-

"Have you been living under a rock, or something? S-O-N-Y, they're the company that makes the PlayStations! (tm)".
"Oh, cool, you work for Sony. Can you get me a PS3?"
"Nope. I can't. Besides I don't work for Sony, I work at SCEA."
"Well, then, what exactly do you do at Sony?"
"I do tech support for the PSP and the PS3 when it launches."
"So, what's the difference between working 'for' or 'at' Sony?"
"The difference is color."
"Ah, color, like the new PS2- black or silver?"
"Nope. More like purple or yellow, as in badges. A purple badge means one works for SCEA. A yellow badge means one works at SCEA. Although I do aspire to earn a purple badge within six months."
"That's it? It all boils down to badge color?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"So, you got a yellow badge and you work for Sony."
"Grrr, yeah, something, like that."
"Can you get me a PS3"?
"Y'know, contact your local retailer and ask to be placed on the waiting list."

So Sayeth Das Behr

An Expensive Chew Toy

Okay, Das Behr, grew up with dogs. During the
"formative" years, there has always been a canine or two or three in the household. Never, and I mean N-E-V-E-R has any dog of mine or anyone else that I know for that matter has had their mutt/pooch/canine chew on an electronic product. Therefore I'm understandably a little sceptical about the image to the right. Albeit it does appear to have been mangled-up, but for Fido to do this kind of damage, nah, I don't think so.

I would, however, think that little (insert little kids' name here) would take a tool and attempt to pry the PSP open. But to place the blame on Fido- it's just not right.

And before any of you ask, YES! This PSP has been subject to neglect and abuse and the warranty is definitely voided.

So Sayeth Das Behr

Bright Lights, Big City

Well perhaps not "big city", although San Blah-zay is now a bright city especially downtown. Das Behr was trundling around last Saturday night. Okay, so I went and saw the new Robin Williams film "MAN OF THE YEAR" (great flick). After the movie it was time to head up to Mac's for a beer and chatter. Trundling north along South First Street wasn't quite the adventure that it once was. I couldn't quite place what was so different about my surroundings, then it dawned on me...

IT WAS SO FREAKING B-R-I-G-H-T.

Wouldn't you know, the San Blah-zay public works folks went and installed new street fixtures and lamps. And we're not talking those sodium vapor puppies either, nope, plain white wattage blazed across the entire sidewalk! Well okay, downtown sidewalks were a bit dark at night, but now it's gone 180 degrees into the opposite direction.

Now if only they can apply the same logic to getting The Alameda re-surfaced. The speed limit is posted at 35mph, but I tell ya, the GR1FF3N likes his suspension and alignment just the way it is- perfect. Until San Blah-zay gets the ruts and pot holes fixed on The Alameda, this behr ain't gonna be going anywhere near the 35 mph limit.

HEY SAN BLAH-ZAY, FIX THE BUMPY ROAD KNOWN AS THE ALAMEDA, WILL YA?
Do something constructive with all that money from the Grand Prix.

So Sayeth Das Behr

Another Anniversary

Dateline: SF Bay Area. 17:04 hours Pacific Time. Tuesday, 17 October 1989.
Major temblor measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale rattled through the Greater Bay Area.

I was on vacation that week. I didn't go anywhere special. I just hung out around my flat that I shared with three hets. The World Series was being touted as the long awaited "Battle of The Bay". SF Giants v. Oakland Athletics. I was bored. So I was out visiting some neighbors in the flat above the rear carport.

Chris and, his wife Donna, always had the best KGB. (Which is tame when compared to the medicine of today). Chris had the bud, Das Behr had the bowl, it was a pleasant visit. Until 17:04 in the afternoon when the apartment above the carport began to move.
There we were, all four of us, looking at each other and thinking aloud "This shaking can stop any time now". Well, when the 'p-wave' subsided, the more destructive 's-wave' began- violently.

"It's... not... stop... ping!" I shouted.
"It's been more than ten seconds!" noted Dave.
"Everyone, get into a doorway!" yelled Chris

Following basic earthquake safety procedures, four people braced themselves in four interior doorways. Violently nasty shaking in excess of 28 seconds. Finally, it ended. Das Behr had bruised arms from being thrown back and forth in the wood framed door way. When reality struck, I panicked. I flew downstairs to my flat to survey damage if any.

After shock #1: A 5 pointer.

If anyone thinks that the earth is solid beneath their feet, they've never been in an earthquake. During the first after shock, I had eye-witness account that although the earth may appear solid, it also ripples. I watched in disbelief, as my livingroom floor moved in a wave-like ripple. The exterior walls didn't skip a beat, for the walls merely followed suit and rode the earth wave. Checking upon the contents of the apartment proved that nothing was broken.

Yet there was a one foot wave running foot to head on my full flotation waterbed. It took Das Behr nearly ten minutes to calm the wave by laying prone and rode the water mattress like I was on a surf board on the ocean.

Never lost cable

News Copter 7 was sending live, unedited images to their news roomand out to the public. Stunned at the scope of what I saw, I sat on the couch with my mouth agape. I never saw a freeway in such a crumbled state as was the Cypress Structure in Oakland. I then felt sickened as I realised that cars and trucks were now crushed with their occupants beneath tons of concrete and re-bar.

It took me three days to reach my folks back east. I gave them phone numbers of my roommies' relatives and asked my dad to do a relay call to them to advise that their loved ones are indeed still amongst the living and will call when services were fully restored.

Seventeen years ago to the day- The Loma Prieta Temblor. It was my "Big One".
And it still remains as the most recognisable seismic event here, in the Bay Area.
Surprisingly the fatalities numbered below 100. Most of those killed were in their vehicles when the freeway collapsed.

Today, we have stronger building codes and seismic retro-fitted freeways.
There's a new program in place encouraging people to save water for emergency kits. Because many local governments on the peninsula have realised that in another seismic event, we need to care for ourselves for as much as 72 hours. Do you have your emergency kit? No? Do it today!

So Sayeth Das Behr

So Sayeth Das Behr

Cha-Cha-Changes

With Autumn 2k6 came a new employment opportunity, an updated fashion style, a new "do", a refreshed attitude and a new blog layout!

Yah, I know yippee fucking skippy.

So Sayeth Das Behr

Ironic Humor

Upon being informed of my good news, Greg stated "oh, good, an inside job." Yup, an inside job, indeed! I no longer need worry about getting soaked through to the skin and work in wet clothing, this winter. Yipee!


Yesterday, I was assigned another cubicle. My supervisor Ms. W., wanted everyone on her team to be on the same floor. Well, that's logical. So I got moved. The entire contents of my cubicle, including Das Behr went from the 20th floor of the tower to the 21st floor of the tower. My cubicle is located immediately adjacent to Ms.W.'s office-cube. Some other teammates mentioned their mis-givings about being so close to the boss, but I just shrugged it off. Because of two things mainly: Number One- The supes here at SCEA like many real companies are there to HELP their charges- which is so unlike Swishport it's scary. And Number Two- Ms. W doesn't come in until late morning so she is only there from the time I get back from lunch til the time I leave. No worries.


A Cube With A View


Top floor of the tower, baby! My cube abuts the wall of in-operable windows. My view is that of the Bay, The San Mateo-Hayward Bridge, the EastBay (once the fog clears) and perhaps most ironic... All the aircraft on their final approach into SFO. Which includes KE, FL, KL, AF and VS.

I was chatting briefly with a teammate today whilst on break. Das Behr was asked how I happened to wind-up in Campbell if I had worked at SFO. I explained that during my last six months at SFO, I was homeless and living in my car while toiling full-time at the airport...
A woman from SCEA finance bummed a light from me and interjected "Now look where you are."

Yes, indeed, I know full well where I am now. And I'm enjoying-

EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF IT!!!

So Sayeth Das Behr

PSP~Hells Yeah

pretty self-explanatory

Don't Be A Stinker, Use Your Damn Blinker

Every single motorized vehicle on the roads and freeways in this, the great State of California, are equipped with this device. A simple, safety device that is operated manually and is within easy reach of every driver. Yet, given it's effortless operability many motorists, here in Northern California, seldom if ever, use it.

Signals. Blinkers. Directionals.

Which ever descriptor is used, it still works the same way. The little used safety device is a glorified plastic stick jutting out from the left side of the steering column. Move it up and like magic the right turn signal begins to flash. Move the plastic downward and, look- gee-whiz, the left turn signal begins to flash.

How is a turn signal deemed to be a safety device? I think it's quite obvious.
Usage of the turn signals when changing lanes help prevent many mis-understandings, fender benders and may even prevent frustrated drivers from becoming enraged and determined to run you off the road. Or perhaps even KILL YOU.

Yes, I've been cut-off on the freeway. You've been cut-off on the freeway. Chances are that most people, even those clueless souls that perpetuate turn signal non usage, get cut-off. I don't understand it. Ease of use. Within easy reach- It really is a no-brainer.

Now, where did I put that laser guided particle beam?

I want to mount it on the GR1FF3N and permanently eliminate those clueless souls.

The Results Are In....

A few items to consider...
My learning curve at SCEA was nearly vertical. For instance, I don't own nor have I ever owned a PlayStation console. Sure, I enjoy playing video games- in an arcade environment. Home-based systems, though, not much interest. Friends of mine have owned PS2 systems. I being the bear that I am, just couldn't manipulate the awkward controllers with any finesse whatsoever.

The call-tracking software (CRM app) is a very robust application made by that German company, Siebel. The app is named LUCID which is an acronym, that I rather not get into right now. Suffice to say it is very robust. Asset information, service record information, addresses phone numbers, the works. Yeah, it's a database. Gee, I wonder why Uncle Larry hasn't attempted to scoop up Siebel, because LUCID kicks major ass! (DUH! Me bad.)

So there you have it the major players in this learning curve of mine. No real experience with the Sony PSP (PlayStation Portable) and no working knowledge of LUCID. I place that learning curve at 89 degrees. Why 89? Well, I haven't been living under a rock, so at least I already knew what the hell a PSP was and that was about it.

The other aspects of performing custo-, er, CONSUMER support are the soft skills. Of which I have in great supply. Past experiences within call center atmospheres include two alarm company central stations and one web-based application company. The latter was at that time a start-up and the former were ADT Security Systems (back when it was a reputable security company) and RFI Communications and Security.

The training at SCEA was three weeks in length. The learning about LUCID and the PSP were computer-based and self guided. The Training Facilitator(s) made one thing crystal clear- Don't attempt to learn everything that there is to know, instead learn where to go on the corporate intranet to find the information you need. I had a professor in college that had said nearly the same thing- Don't try to know it all, just know where to find it.

At first, I was trippin' hard. Information overload. I was thinking PSP. I was dreaming PSP. I had "consumers" talking to me in my dreams. As anyone whom works in a technical call center will tell you, the smart people do not call you. The folks whom read their respective owners/users manuals- do not call you. The only people whom call tech support are the clueless and the ones that ought not be attempting to operate anything, let alone attempt to set the time on their VCRs.

The "semi-final" was a database navigation, coding test. A passing score was 90, my score was 83. Most of my class required a re-test. My score on the re-test was a huge improvement- 100.

The three call final was THE big one. "Nobody fails this course" so stated the facilitator, named Wes. (Oh and a few choice words about him: Cute, mid-20's, korean/european mixed straight married daddy) Anyways , he dropped a not-so-tactful bomb on the class, you fail- you're gone. No worries here, in the adult world THAT is a given. Yet , I was amongst the few whom were beyond their 30s- Kids today, I tell you...

The three call final had a pair of grading categories- Call Quality and Database Knowledge. It was here that I was trippin' a bit. I knew I had the call quality down pat. But, I still had a little bit of difficulty with app navigation. I was shocked to learn that the two for me would get perplexingly reversed. The required score to pass the Call Quality segment was 80 or better. The Database segment was tighter at a minimum score level of 90.

The Results Are In...

Call Quality: 85
Database: 100

I start my shift bright and squirrely at 0700 and leave at 15:30. This is the first technical call center gig where I work Monday through Friday. Yes, that means weekends off like normal workers! As my friend Tony T had observed, I am no longer working in the Klingon Empire for I have now rejoined the Federation!

hells yeah!

So Sayeth Das Behr